Falling apart means something different to everyone, for me it meant sitting in an A & E waiting room for 19 hours, seeing really upsetting events and trying to sit straight so people wouldn’t stare at me as I rocked back and forth in pain.
In the past, I would be due into work that morning and knowing I wouldn’t make it that day, week, month or possibly be let go by my job was really frightening.
In my teens and twenty’s, I let it all overwhelm me, I became a very down and a very anxious person, because I never knew when it would all hit the fan again. But, I always fought each day by getting up in the morning in pain, going through my day in discomfort and trying to sleep at night despite feeling unwell.
Who can live with that and not find life difficult? Or have an illness and try to be like everyone else when they aren’t. Being kept in hospital and waking up to a team of doctors surrounding you when you pray you weren’t snoring became routine but never easy.
Life continues when you are unwell and taking a back seat and seeing others live theirs on Facebook was particularly difficult. Missing events and letting people down is more difficult because of the guilt and shame you feel, you also start to have a negative view of your body and yourself.
I was always afraid to begin anything because I didn’t know If I could manage but I took a scary step and I began doing makeup in 2009. For me it was a breath of fresh air to be creative in a positive way.
I don’t sit at home and take photos of myself…..that much……(but I have to for my work) , but I prefer to be out in the world and meeting new people, students and clients and hearing their stories.
This was how I discovered everyone has something – be it allergies, asthma, bipolar, crohns, diabetes, depression, a heart condition or migraines, everyone has something, and I found that being open about my experiences made others feel they could share and we could connect on an amazing level.
I think that is something we have lost touch with a bit, truly connecting with people on a deeper level cause when we don’t connect we don’t see each other as humans with very real depth and issues and inspiration.
Thinking about that word now, inspiration, what does it mean to you, apart from a definition of ‘being inspiring’, you won’t get away with it that easy.
What does inspiring mean to you? Who inspires you? How do they do it? Was it something they did that stood out to you, or, just part of who they are?
Please have a think about this for a couple of minutes as I’ve some good advice on how you could naturally do the same by just being yourself, faults and all!
Till next time….